Tonight, There are Tiny Wonders…

9/1/2025:

Tonight, I’m writing a blog post.

Tonight, I’m writing my first blog post for my new website.

Tonight, I’m writing.

And there is a surprising numbness, there.

I wanted my first post to be full of happiness, joy and inspiration…good news and pride in my achievements…peace and love and chocolate chip cookies.

But tonight? Instead? I am sitting in frustration with teary-tears dripping from my eyes, wondering why I even bother, because there are some days that feel like I fucked it all up and there is no going back to fix any of the things.

Is it really that way? Nope…..just feels that way. But the feels are real.

When I conjured the idea about blogging on The realities about reality… the goal was to write about real life, not the carefully cultivated bits of life wrapped up in a shiny veneer that we present in snapshots on social media. It was supposed to be real, but inspiring. Authentic, but not depressing. Real stories, connecting us in ways that did not immediately make you think I was trying to sell you something, or convince you of anything, or manipulate you into thinking your life was such a mess that you had to model your next steps after mine—because I AM ABSOLUTE PERFECTION AND I KNOW ALL THE THINGS!!!

I just wanted to be free. To write. To speak to people in ways that aren’t so coded we can’t truly understand one another.

To be real.

But how to be real? Do we talk about divine alignment? The beautiful shittiness of everyday life? The love and light of spirituality? Or the creative nourishment of the divine darkness?

There are so many things that are poured into the daily lives we all lead it’s hard to pick which reality to share. Do I go with the boring stuff? The stresses? The wins? The beautiful blessings or the unexpected joys?

How is any of it relevant? How can it be anything but boring?

But then I realized that we ALL have pretty boring lives. We wake up. We go do the things. We go home. We sleep, wake and start all over again and in between all of it are whole universes filled with tiny wonders that make us want to keep waking up every morning, and in the fullness of the very average, very normal, very mundane days…..there are moments of tiny wonders woven throughout.

School has started, and to my surprise, both of my kids were excited to return. There were new clothes, fresh lunchboxes, clean closets and tight calendars. There was a sense of eagerness to get back into the old and begin the new, excitement over the idea of returning to in-person school a couple of days a week with peer groups offering the potential for new friends.

Happy teens. Tiny wonders.

As homeschoolers, when we connect with other homeschoolers—it is, quite often, truly just to socialize. No books or lessons or overt learning; just fun and games. For our first meetup of the school year, we returned to the local community center, moms and dads and kids of all ages taking over the gym, an imaginary line separating the littles on one side, riding toy dinosaurs, running amok and playing with mini basketball hoops. On the other side, the older kids made up yet another new game, the rules of which were impossible to follow unless you were part of the gang. Boys and girls alike played together, loudly celebrating one another when anyone made a goal. By the end, nobody knew who won because nobody kept score—so they just declared that everybody won. Parents chatted and hung out on the bleachers, dodging tiny kids riding scooters at top speeds, errant balls, and sometimes a sneaker or two as they flew through the air out of control. Dads played hoops with the kids, teaching them elaborate moves with the basketball, Harlem Globetrotter style. There were smiles, hugs, laughter and genuine happiness to see one another again after a summer packed with sunshine.

Tiny wonders.

Then home. Work. Clean. Banana bread and guacamole from the dozen overripe avocados and bananas I got yesterday. More work on my website, more figuring out how to run a business that feels impossibly outside of my wheelhouse…more cleaning. Dinner. Hanging with the birds so they get used to us and trust that we won’t snatch their whole lives away when we offer our fingers for them to perch upon.

Tiny wonders.

Somewhere in there was a hurried trip to Starbucks—but only for the kids. Somewhere in there were phone calls around huge life decisions to be made, communication with the other adults involved clunky and difficult; misunderstandings exploding into realizations that eventually, you have to recognize what is not for you and disengage sooner, rather than later. Everywhere, there was avoidance of a million little things I did not have time to finish: the nightstands sitting in boxes in the middle of the living room, waiting to be put together. The empty boxes in the garage waiting to be hauled away to the dump. The bins filled with my husband’s belongings that need to be unpacked and put away before he actually joins us in our new home. The realization that I truly need to get my business up and running, but I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. The shaking hands and queasy tummy reminding me I hadn’t eaten a thing all day, so even though it felt like there was no time left to do all the things in the day—I had to stop and eat before I passed out.

Tiny frustrations.

And maybe some more tears.

I did what I promised myself I would: I wrote. You won’t see the results of that, because what I initially wrote is not for y’all….but I wrote.

My oldest kiddo covered the birds for the night while I was wrapping up work, effectively shutting down their chatter and songs, prompting me to turn off the music playing in the background. He sat with me for awhile and then meandered up to bed, not saying anything, but leaving me feeling like he said all the things then hugged me tight and said Goodnight, I love you! —just like I say to him every night before bed. He’s a little Pisces and sometimes it’s like his thoughts just bore right into your brain with only a look.

Tiny miracles.

I headed to my bedroom to finish working on the website, intent on FINISHING IT….and listened to my younger one playing video games. Shouting, laughing, kicking the wall behind his desk in surprise; joyfully hanging out with the online friends he found during the pandemic…..I hesitated to interrupt his gaming, but it was a school night and he had to go to sleep. And he did, without a lot of pushback.

Giant miracles.

And sleep.

I don’t know what this blog will really be about, but it will be real. Filled with the mundane, and the exiting, and the waves of life that capture all the beauty and pain and joy and love and anger and hate and success and triumph. It’s about nothing. It’s about everything.

It’s about moments filled with tiny wonders.